Why, oh sodding why did I buy this game. I despise scary games, and loathe good scary games. My pussyness is seemingly limitless in the world of video games. The only movie to have actually raised an eyebrow, Roger Moore style, was The Shining. They just don't effect me in the same way. Maybe it's because I can see most directors tricks comnig from a mile off, predicting jump scares and sudden reveals well in advance of them actually happening.
Games, the buggers, are a different kettle of horrors altogether, and with the first person perspective putting the peril directly in your hands as opposed to watching an actor on screen, the effect is that much worse.
The second game on my list is Amnesia - Dark Descent, and it can, as I previously and so eloquently put it, fuck right off. Look at that banner picture again. Why in god's name would I want to play a game like this, that deliberately doesn't give me an almighty fusion cannon the size of my Gran's house to blow that hideous mistake to pieces?! Noooooo, this is a game that thought it would be hilarious to introduce a mechanic that forces you not to look, to run, to hide, and cower like field mouse in the corner with your trousers round your ankles.
I've had enough even talking about it. It can fuck off.
For these reasons, you can expect my upcoming Alpha Protocol saga, the first part of which will be up later today, to be a long winded, drawn out, and overly thorough account of a nice game with windows and daylight and big, snuggly guns.
|Maybe if I affectionately call him Simon, it will lower the impact?|