We can learn much from history, as my old history teacher would harp on about. "mrbenn," he used to say, "mankind's greatest triumphs and catastrophes are written in the annals of history; moments of true inspiration, mistakes that we must not make again. History is probably the greatest indicator as to who we are, as a species."
Well, he would say that. It was his chosen subject to teach.
However, he would be right when it came to zombie disaster management, in that my time in charge would surely be written down in history as one of the greatest failings of our time.
I'll be honest; it wasn't going great. If you recall I was struggling to get to grips with my new role, as chief zombie evacuation person. I had enlisted the help of "Sloth Squad", my elite sniper unit. They were tasked with ensuring that the populace of Nuevos Aires reached the various helicopter rescue sites in each city, promptly and unharmed. In a recent appraisal:
What my squad was good at:
+ Setting up.
+ Re-positioning carefully.
+ Aiming in a sort of cone shape.
+ Shooting every 25secs.
What my squad was not so good at:
- Killing Zombies promptly.
- Ensuring civilians reached the helicopter rescue sites unharmed.
- Trying harder for each subsequent mission.
Whilst they were fewer in number, the negatives really did outweigh the positives when it came to evacuating the cities.
Rather than present you with a month by month account of what happened (it really would be too depressing to write and to read...) I will summarise the events that led to the fall of the Nuevos Aires.
Battle Report - 1962
It didn't start off too bad, Sloth Squad did a fairly good job in Santa Promco. We rescued 29 people, which was the highest so far. I awarded the squad a medal after that mission. El Doriviva...well....that was less good, in which I mean awful. We lost 247 people that day. However, three people did make it back to the super safe military HQ. So, you know, not all bad.
Something must of rallied Sloth Squad when October came round, as we successfully rescued 47 people! If we got 13 more bodies in that chopper, El Presidente would have awarded us a new unit to use. Though why he sets these targets is beyond me. Just give me all the firepower first! Urgh, games.
We revisited the town of Santa Promco, just in case there were anymore survivors. Lo and behold there, were...125 of them. Inspired by 2 out of the last three missions, we went in. We brought back 9.
Next month, November, we were presented with a poser.
|Upping the ante eh...|
infested park. Right Sloth Squad?! Guys?
250 lost in that mission. Swing and miss in that one. Santa Basudeca didn't really have much going for it anyway.
Alta Chary, the suspiciously named Zyden (zombie den?) and Alto Goludeka fell in the next few months. In those three missions we rescued 24 people. Pretty good average of 8 people per mission, which is about 6.4% of each districts population.
We did significantly better at De Delahugu, again rescuing 47 people. Tantalisingly close to hitting our rescue targets, however Chavez decided to leave half the ammunition back at base. No new units for us.
We returned to Keleyao, twice, rescuing a total of 6 people, before I was presented with a map of the current situation.
|The pink are Zombies...|
|Optimistic till the bitter end...|
|You see this a lot when on Hard mode :(|
As with all bad news, I presented El Presidente with the final stats in the most tender way possible. In the form of a graph and pie chart.
|YEAH OFFICE 2000!|
Wow those modifiers really make a difference eh! I think I was totally screwed when my first unit was the Snipers. In the other games I've played, I've always had the troopers first, which helped me form a perimeter around the extraction zone, thus allowing me to rescue some people. So it was probably over after the 3rd mission. I came pretty close to completing a few missions, but the zombies just kept coming.
So whilst I'm pretty prepared to taken on the zombie apocalypse in my flat.....you better call someone else when it all goes tits up in the city centre.
Rescued: 269 people.
Lost: 2666 people.
Best Squad: Sloth Squad.
Worst Squad: Sloth Squad.
And with that done, I'm onto B! Thom kindly got to Audiosurf before me, and since its a no failure game, I'm gonna skip it. I've also got a lot of catching up to do....so Bastion it is then!