Wednesday, 30 April 2014

Dead! G! (I) DIed

Worst headline ever. I need to save my good ones though I've got another 3 C&C games to get through.

Alas, it was bound to happen at some point. I couldn't keep making major mistakes in a hard campaign and getting away with it. It's really turning game-playing into a sport where I have to FOCUS all the time and make sure I get RESULTS. Read on to witness the shambolic end...

North Africa was a piece of cake. I waltzed through the chemical weapons factory in Cairo. I had 5 minutes to take down the factory's power before they launched their deadly payload. Then that would give me a small window in which to focus on troops and my base and probe the base's perimeter for weaknesses before they restored power and began the launch countdown again. Orcas quickly destroyed the power stations and after securing two tiberium fields I had more money than I could spend, built up a huge force and trundled towards the front door. The friendly advisor told me it was too heavily defended and to find another way in. I just rolled in and blew everything to pieces.

There was much rejoicing.

Then came Croatia. NOD have built a new temple and we have to destroy it. Unfortunately we have barely any troops in this area so it'll be an uphill struggle. That's fine. I'm confident enough that if you give me an MCV I can out-play the AI. This is where the trouble starts though. I'm not given an MCV. I'm given a broken base with four entrances and not enough power to keep all the defences online at once.

What a lovely puzzle I'm not interested in playing!
Anyway, needs must and I begin the tedious process of cycling the power in my base as various enemy waves approach. It is boring. More importantly though we all know what happens when I try to use the power button... That's right, I sell things instead! Now one of my entrances is completely undefended. Hooray!

It's not the end of the world. I can build troops so that fills the holes and I'm just about clinging on when my MCV arrives. Unfortunately this doesn't herald my salvation but stage 2 of 'tedious hoop jumping'!
This is because this is one of those situations where the game gives you troops but you're not allowed to control them. Seems a bit strange what with me being the Commander in the area and everything. I've been sent especially to defend this important strategic point and given everything that GDI can afford to spare in order to do it. Oh, well, except that MCV and the extremely useful troops that are with it, obviously. No I can't give those orders until I've destroyed a gun turret that's stopping them. What's that you say? Use the troops that are stood next to the MCV and that could easily destroy the tower with their guns? Well, I'd love to, of course I would, but I'm not allowed to control those units. Not yet anyway.

"Commander we're pinned down we need help", "I'm afraid all of my troops have been killed because I sold half my defences, can you use the APCs full of men that are with you to do anything?", "No sorry. We're not allowed to do anything or take orders from you until we reach a specific point on the map, just like in real life. My hands are tied! Sorry!", "Roger that, we'll all just die then" "Understood"

I mean, it's ridiculous really. I know it's a game and everything, but why wouldn't you turn up with an MCV? Why use the base which is being overrun when you can just make a new one somewhere else that NOD doesn't know about? And finally, why send your MCV in to the area but not allow your commander to control it? His rank is COMMANDer, it's got the word command in it. He's not an advisor, or a suggester, or a waiter, or an implorer or a beggar or a dog. Or a prick. He's the one that gives the commands!

Anyway, the game basically became a stalemate at that point. I couldn't build units fast enough to defend the ruddy great hole in the base, let alone send out a contingent to rescue my (ha! my!) MCV.

And thus the world was destroyed by NOD probably, and Lando was ashamed.

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